shutup you stupid safari ant.

Okay, ssooooooo rich left really early in the morning to go on his little adventure leaving the rest of us disorganised types in bed. Max and Stefan made plans to go camping and Naomi and I were quite happy not to spend any more time in the wild but in the sleepy, old towns dotted around the Kathmandu valley. Our plans were thwarted for the next 2 days however due to a strike (which became a common occurrence before some kind of political vote a few days ago stopped it all.)
We bummed around Kathmandu with no shops open and no busses to help us we were really in a jam until we bumped into my old friend Suresh; he also had nothing to do because of the strike and very kindly offered to show us around the big Hindu temple on the top of the hill.
It was a really nice day, there were very small funeral piers or Ghats along the river where I saw my first burning torso (it wasn’t as gruesome as it sounds, quite peaceful actually. We saw the body of an old women being carried down for burning also.

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The temples were old and beautiful all containing the Shiva linga (Shiva’s penis as seen from inside Parvati) and adorned with scenes from the karma sutras and stories of unfaithful wives caught in the act and beheaded. Hinduism is a weird religion full of sex and fun and naughtiness that contrasts massively with the culture of it believers.

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There were monkeys everywhere and we spent a lot of our time protecting our bags from them or watching them play and jump in the river.
That night I stayed in but the others went out drinking and thoroughly entertained me when they got back  thanks guys.

The next day the boys left for camping and we took a bus to Panouti about 4 hours east of Kathmandu. We arrived in a massive dusty bus park and instantly regretted our decision. We thought the guide books had been lying about the cobbled streets and winding alleys but as it turned out you just can’t see them from your arrival point due to the enormous amount of development in the new town. Once you cross the river though it is a different story. All the charm of Bandipur, but not as done up for tourists. A real working old fashioned village, surrounded by agriculture and mountains, dotted with temples and beautiful buildings through which the sounds of manual weaving machines echoes from dawn till dusk.

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Normally this boutique style guesthouse charges 500rs for a room and 55rs for milk tea but Naomi and I fluttered our lashes and got everything for a reasonable price (in fact a complete steal). The house was so cute, with low ceilings of wood and packed mud flooring. I think he said it was about 150 years old (which is well old by Nepalese standards).

On the second we climbed to the top of a big hill, atop the hill there was a festival for the full moon (it only happens once a year and we actually read about it before we arrived which was a bit of a coincidence.) The festival consisted mainly of lots of food and these tiny little bread biscuit things that were impossible (and I mean impossible) to bite through, they were soooo hard! Luckily Krishna saw us struggling and stashed our uneaten gifts in his pocket. We ate potatoes and sweet millet pudding with the old men and then went back down the hill, they eyes of the congregation on our backs.

You might not get stared at as much in Nepal as you do in India but in the smaller villages you do get some funny looks. That night the children came from the local school to watch us play poi. One girl of about 15 announced that they had never seen tourists like us before, which I thought was very sweet and funny.

We spent the next day strolling around the town and soaking up the atmosphere, oh yeah and cutting off all my horrible hair! I told Krishna in the morning that I should like to get a haircut and before I knew it I was being poked and prodded by him and his wife as the discussed and translated my ideas for a new hairstyle. I dutifully went off with said wife and Naomi and was plonked in a chair surrounded by middle aged women, knitting clucking and cooing in Nepali as I sat there looking probably quite nervous. However the girl was a very good hairdresser and I am pleased with the results. I think I look like an imp or elf perhaps 

Before we knew it was time to leave our little nest of countryside calmness and head back to Kathmandu as Naomi was heading homewards via India  I was very sad to see her go so we decided to be proactive and have some fun. We visited Patan, another historic site in Kathmandu. First we took a 10 minute taxi ride that ended up taking about 40 mins, but we saw a lot of the town (including the dump/river, not good.) But it was all worth it when we got there.

Wandered around the beautiful shopping streets and the spectacular square full of temples and palaces until we found this curious little door half open… how could we resist. After another session of eyelid fluttering (a specialty of Naomi’s) we were allowed to pass through the door into the most beautiful building site I have ever seen.

We got a free guided tour around this section of the square that has been closed to the public for 15 years! We were so lucky, it really made our day. And look what we found growing all over the place. 

After that we even managed to go out drinking! I had a whole two beers! And fell asleep very quickly; I am not the little alcoholic that left England, no sir eeee bob. I’m a regular square now.

Naomi left the next day and I found myself trapped in a 3 day strike! I really wanted to get out so I booked myself on a tourist bus, which would supposedly still be running, to the Chitwan national park. This is located in the very south of Nepal on the plains that border India. It is the hottest flattest place in Nepal. The people look different, they speak a different style of Nepali which is closer to Hindi and they have tropical rainforest. I argued my way onto a bus that wasn’t meant for me which I probably shouldn’t have done seeing as no one else in my group managed to make it and I ended up doing the experience alone. But it was good none the less.
The journey was beautiful, following the river through the ever changing landscape, from mountains to foot hills and plains, the river widening all the way down. Stunning. When I arrived as I said there was no one expecting me and no one to pick me up. I got in the most broken car I have ever sat in, ever and went to my guest house. It was beautiful with lichee and mango trees bursting with fruit and hammocks to relax in.

I had lunch and eventually the boss showed up with an itinerary for me. He took me out on his huge dirt bike style motor bike along the crazy, bumpy roads. It was really good fun if not a bit scary. We went to museums and they were pretty weird (lots of aborted fetuses of rhinos etc in bad grade phemeldahyde so they were all disintegrating a bit. Not good!

The cultural museum was more enlightening and less gross. Then we went to the elephant breeding park which was hard to look at, big animals chained up is never easy, but I thought it important to try an understand why they were there. Unfortunately poaching is still a big problem in the parks and with wild elephants, tigers, bears and rhinos on the loose you can’t exactly patrol on foot. The male babies are trained for patrolling purposes, protecting the other animals in the forest. Whilst the women get the raw deal. Used for breeding and elephant rides the females are kept chained at night and although free to rome during the day they always have a man on their backs to stop them from going missing. (the baby in the picture is only 14 days old. elephants as old as 3 or 4 depending on temperament are left unchained.)

These elephants are not captured from the park. The first trained elephants were brought from India. None of the Elephants that are use here have ever been wild. Whilst this all sounds very good, hardly any of the baby elephants are released into the wild after weaning. Most if not all go into work for the ever booming tourist industry that is soon to ruin places like Sauraha (the village I stayed in) and many others if left unchecked.
When talking about the past the people of this region are talking about 15 – 20 years ago! 15-20 years ago they used wooden ploughs to work the fields. There were no cement roads, few guesthouses and a good working, farming community. Tourism and money has had an enormous effect on the town, tripling its size to almost 100 guesthouses, a good(ish) road and restaurants and shops galore. Only 20 years and already the culture here is suffering. The men who patrol and maintain the forest, the ones who are most educated in the ways of conservation (through proximity as opposed to structured education) are among the lowest paid in the community whilst the endless abundance of 5 star resorts cash in on the rich Nepali and Indian tourists that frequent the park. There is no backpacker scene here. No cheap lodges or food. It’s not worth their while when big money can be made.
Whilst mulling this over in my sleepy head I rested in preparation for my elephant ride the next morning. Elephants are HHUUUUUUUGE! here is one on the main street so you can see it compared to houses.

They have a big wooden square frame on their backs and myself and an Indian family (mum, daughter and father) squeezed ourselves back to back on the huge beast, legs dangling over the edge. The driver sits on the neck and puts his feet behind the ears and kicks gentle encouragement into the soft spot behind said ears. The only other means of control was a little stick he kept rested on the elephants head. He didn’t hit the elephant, I was pleased by that. So off we went crashing through the jungle, abdomen muscles working hard to stay in time with the rhythmic steps of the huge beast. It was really good however my companions were very loud and Indian. Singing and throwing rubbish as we went. (Very annoying when you’re trying to spot wildlife. We did spot it however. We saw two types of dear, some beautiful birds and the piece de resistance… a bathing rhino!

After the elephant ride I popped home for lunch and asked about going to bath the beasts. My guesthouse owner informed me that a few years ago some westerners died doing this and the package deals no longer offer it. However it still goes on and for 100rs you can get involved. So … I did  it was the best thing I did. I got to go in the river twice with the same elephant. You climb on to the neck with some help from the elephant trainer and then up you get and into the river where the elephant obediently sprays water on you and rolls over so you fall off repeatedly. It was amazing to be so close to something so big and I felt like they enjoyed this more that the rides. They sound like thunder when they trumpet their trunks, and they do this when they are happy (apparently). I want a pet elephant 

In the afternoon I went on a boat ride down the river (again I was alone, just me and two guides but I thought that was pretty lucky. My own personalized tour.) We floated down the river for about 1 hour and it was great, my guide was amazing. He could spot all the birds and tell me about their lives, their calls and the stories and myths that surrounded them.

I loved it and I loved him. He was amazing. We set the boat down on the back and began our trek home. Within a few minutes my guide said he could hear something and we went back to the beginning of the trek. I crouched down in the bushes, breathless as he climbed a nearby tree. He pointed down into the grassland and I made my way cautiously toward his pointing hands. When I emerged in the grasses I was about 10 feet away from two huge, wild rhinos plodding through the forest. Keeping our distance we walked around quietly and followed with our eyes as they made their way into denser forest. i was not brave enough to move and photograph this.

Next up was huge bugs and caterpillars….really huge and the earsplitting sound of the cicadas as we made our way deeper into the jungle. Stopping all the time my guide pointed out new and old scratch marks in trees, discerning from their size and location whether they belonged to tigers, leopards or bears.

Seeing the week old scratch marks of a lion is pretty scary when all you have is two Nepali guys with big sticks for protection. People, including western tourists have dies here from animal attack.

We saw big, beautiful, white monkeys that were two fast to photograph and also we had a close encounter with a bear. As we were walking we heard a load grunting to our right in the tall grass. We stopped and I backed up. We waited a while and began to move closer as we did the bear let out a terrific roar and a bird shot out of the undergrowth. My guide was certain there was a baby bear in the bush and the mother was patrolling the bush. We could see the grass moving above our heads but we couldn’t see the bear and I didn’t get to either, one last roar saw my guides and retreating hastily to a safe distance.
We walked on and went up to an observation deck (a tall, wonky wooden structure that didn’t feel safe) and got the most stunning view which I couldn’t really photograph because the sun was too low.

I returned to Kathmandu the next morning feeling satisfied with my time in Sauraha and full of knowledge. I had planned all sorts of magical adventures afterwards, thinking I still had a while to wait for rich, but who should I find in my favorite eatery but the Mac himself! Since then we have shopped, eaten smoked and had ourselves coloured in  it has been a good catch up but I’m ready to move on now. India tomorrow. I’m coming to get you lizzieeee beeeeeee